Everything I Learned Planning Our Wedding

I proposed to Nico in November 2024, and we got married on 23 May 2026. In between was about a year and a half of decisions, and now that it’s done I want to write down everything I actually learned. Photographers, band, venue, food, guests, costs, the stuff you do a year out and the stuff you leave to the last minute. This is the honest version, including the things I’d do differently.

Where to have it

The first real decision was location. Both Nico and I have family spread across a couple of cities, so there was a version where we did it somewhere cheaper and more central for everyone. The problem was that going cheaper on the venue meant paying a fortune to put everyone up in hotels, which felt over the top. So we kept it in our hometown, where most people either live or have somewhere to stay. Easy for everyone to get to, and way cheaper on accommodation. That trade-off (slightly pricier venue vs. free places to stay) was worth it.

Picking the venue

We started looking in January 2025, using Google reviews, Reddit, and asking people we trusted. We ended up visiting eight venues in total. We saw the one we eventually chose on a Thursday afternoon, then packed six more into the Saturday, and funnily enough we came full circle and went back to the first one.

A few that stood out:

The one in the centre was genuinely stunning. Similar price, insane-looking, beautiful garden. The dealbreaker: they told us we couldn’t play manele. That was never going to work at our wedding, so that was that.
The “Diamond” one was nice too, not the same quality but decent and a bit cheaper.
The one we picked was expensive but the best fit, so we signed the contract early, around February 2025.

Worth knowing how our venue priced things: they give you a base price and then pile on top of it. Food is one number, drinks are separate and expensive, and then everything else is an add-on: plates, better chairs, cocktail bar, candy bar. Basically nothing is included, so the real cost is a lot higher than the first quote. You also can’t bring anything from outside. Cake has to come from their bakery, food from their kitchen, alcohol from them. It’s more expensive, but they have a real reputation for the food and won’t risk it on something you brought in, so it’s also less hassle.

What we went for:

The standard food menu, which was more than good enough.
The most expensive drinks menu, because the cheaper one had noticeably worse wine and spirits.
The cocktail bar add-on, because we thought it’d be fun for people to try different cocktails. It was.

We paid the deposit in installments and settled the rest on the night.

Choosing the date

We were set on May from early on. August would have been too hot (miserable for a wedding, and expensive travel for us and for guests coming from abroad), and April felt too risky on rain. May was the compromise. We got a bit unlucky and it turned out hot anyway that week, so honestly anything from June is a gamble now.

We landed on 23 May 2026 for a specific reason: it was the week before the Champions League final, before the World Cup started, and before summer kicked off. Just the best possible slot. We had about three dates in mind, and this one was available and worked best.

We also did a tasting session a few months before the wedding, where they walked us through everything and we confirmed the details. Really useful, and reassuring.

The band (worth every euro)

The band mattered more to us than almost anything else. In our area there are basically two kinds of wedding bands: cover bands that we liked but that only do the poppy party stuff, and bands that lean fully into manele all night. We wanted flexibility, a mix, people on their feet the whole time. We’d been to weddings that stitched together a DJ and a band, or a band plus a separate act, and it looked like way too much effort to coordinate. So we found one band that handled everything.

It cost around 10k euros, which is a lot. We could probably have found similar quality for 5 to 6k, and I did double-guess it, wondering whether we should just do a DJ and a cheaper band. Looking back, no chance. They made the wedding.

What made them worth it:

The manager was excellent. We talked to him a lot and he adapted to everything we asked for.
We made a list of songs across different genres so they’d get the vibe. In the manele section I gave him about 15 songs, not because I needed all of them, but so he’d know the feel. He went through and sang the chorus of every single one. Insane.
Anything they didn’t play live, they covered with a DJ, so there was never a gap. Music all night, no sitting down.
Incredible energy, stayed up late, everyone loved them.

If you have a band you love, book them. I’d recommend them to anyone.

Photographers (amazing photos, difficult people)

This is the one part I’d flag as a mixed bag. There was a photographer a family member knew, but he was expensive and I didn’t think the photos were as good. We found the ones we used online instead. The first chat was fun and they seemed nice, but in practice they were needy and high-maintenance.

The contrast with everyone else was stark. The venue staff and the band were warm, easygoing, and did whatever we asked, accommodating a lot of random last-minute stuff. The photographers made us work for them more than they worked for us. I think they’re used to very fancy weddings where the photos matter more than the party, which just isn’t us. We wanted the day to be as fun as possible. Nice photos are a bonus, not the point.

The photographer himself was a bit of an asshole, honestly. Short with his partner, looked annoyed while shooting, made us hold poses. I never warmed to him. The videographer was less involved but similar energy.

The saving grace: the quality was genuinely amazing. Really quick to send previews, and great at the civil ceremony. Photographer was around 1.5k euros, and photo plus video together was roughly 3 to 3.5k euros. Expensive, but the results were excellent. I just didn’t enjoy dealing with them.

The ceremony

Nico wanted a church ceremony and I didn’t, so the compromise was having a priest come to the venue instead. That worked really well. Convenient for everyone, no moving around, and it looked beautiful. We had it by the pool with a great flower arrangement, and everyone loved it. It was short too, which I appreciated.

The one mistake: it was outdoors and we didn’t have a proper backup plan for bad weather. The forecast kept changing and we should have sorted a wet-weather option the day before. Constantly checking the forecast was the stressful part. It held up in the end, but plan the backup.

The first dance

Nico found a choreographer on Instagram who charged around 400 lei. He sent us a step-by-step routine with loads of moves and then put them together for our song. A really nice touch: Nico filmed us practising in the living room and sent it to him, and he gave us tailored tips back. Genuinely lovely guy running a great little business. We put in maybe 10 to 20 hours total, and never found it too hard. Really happy we did it.

What we wore

My outfit came together piece by piece and I was thrilled with all of it:

Suit from Slaters, around £100 to £150 including the waistcoat and shirt, and it needed no alterations. Bow tie and cummerbund with it.
Shoes from Clarks, which I’d strongly recommend. Comfortable from the first wear, danced all night, felt great.
For the religious ceremony I wore a white jacket I got from Vinted, which was a nice touch. I had the dark tuxedo for the photos, switched to the white one for the ceremony while waiting for people, then changed back for the dancing. Everyone liked it.

Nico changed dresses too. The first was fancier, the second more relaxed for dancing around later. Both were stunning.

Where everyone stayed

We put people up in a hotel in the chain with a wellness centre, booking several rooms. We paid for it using holiday vouchers (tichete de vacanță), which made it much cheaper than it would have been otherwise. We also had a meal there the next day, around 100 lei per person: barbecue, cake, and some drinks. Seeing everyone again the day after was one of the nicest parts, and doing it cheaply with the vouchers made it easy.

The day itself

I’ll be honest, the daytime was the stressful stretch. People arriving, working out where everyone was staying, carrying stuff around, talking to everyone, hoping the ceremony went smoothly. Then the entrance, then our first dance, which was lovely but also a bit nerve-wracking.

The switch flipped at 9pm. From that point the band and the venue’s on-the-night manager ran everything, and both were fantastic. After 9 I had zero stress and just enjoyed the party. That’s the bit I’d want anyone to know: the hard part is the logistics before the music starts. Once the party’s going, if you’ve got good people running it, you can actually enjoy your own wedding.

What I’d tell anyone starting out

Book everything early. We had the venue and started on band and photographers back in January, a year and a half out. If you assume the good bands and photographers will still be free closer to the date, they won’t.
Lock in your venue first, then jump straight on the band and photographer. They go fast.
Unless the band is your priority. If there’s a specific band you can’t imagine your wedding without, book them first and then find a venue that fits around them.
Aim to start looking roughly a year and a half in advance.
Relationships with your vendors matter more than you’d think. I loved our band and it made everything better. I didn’t click with the photographer and it coloured the whole experience, even with great photos. When you’re choosing people, factor in whether you actually want to spend your wedding day around them.

That’s the bulk of what I know now. The short version: sort the big bookings early, spend where it counts (for us that was the band), and pick people you’re happy to have in the room.